You may have noticed that I have been MIA for the past few days…..okay almost a week. This past week has been a real test of strength, which I almost failed…..
Warning: This is not a happy, fun post…..this is my life. I got married 24 years ago on Labor Day. As most of you already know, the sweet loving man that I married…no longer exists. He has been replaced by a cruel, passive aggressive, narcissist that enjoys tormenting me. Yes, he plays his games just to see me cry. He may have walked out on his family 5 1/2 months ago, but is not out of my life yet. I was a stay at home mom for the past 23 years, so I obviously have no outside income or career skills to fall back on. I am still financially dependent on him, which is what he wanted. He controls everything. Lesson #1, don’t ever put yourself in that position.
The day I got married, it was for life…or so I thought. My plan was to grow old with this person. Watch our children grow up and have children of their own. The whole Disney pixie dust covered dream, has turned into a Grimm’s fairy tale. Every decision that I made, was based on the best interests of the family. He works 60+ hour weeks with travel to other countries, so me having a career and leaving our children to raise themselves was not an option. He went back to school and earned two masters degrees, while I raised the kids…for our future.
I received a text from him on Monday…Labor Day! He wanted to get together that night and discuss the finances, for the 7th time…ON LABOR DAY! Not on Saturday when he was here putting stuff in the garage. Not on Sunday, he chose Labor Day. I completely lost it!!! Our actual anniversary was yesterday, the 4th…..thank God for Michelle She called me first thing in the morning, and we ended up talking on the phone for 4 hours as she helped me figure out what to do next. Lesson #2, have a stash of posts ready to go when you are not emotionally able to deal with reality.
I have to accept the fact that when I move back to California (or wherever I end up), I may never see my kids again. Alex will still be in Iowa, and Cassi will probably be in Florida going to school. The life that I planned and worked so hard to achieve, is gone and I have to put on my big girl panties and start a new life for myself. Lesson #3, never be fooled again…..
What does this have to do with Chicken Enchilada Pizza? Comfort food. Quick, easy to make, comfort food. When I am upset or stressed out, I bake. Seriously, would I be seventy pounds overweight if I was happy and my life was full of lollipops and rainbows? No, I have been burying the pain with pizza and cheese burgers…..
Well at least they are homemade, and made with all-natural ingredients. I used rotisserie chicken, my favorite enchilada sauce, Wholly guacamole, and dough made in the bread machine. Assembly only takes a few minutes, and I can check emails while they bake.
I made it through the first hurdle, the anniversary. If I disappear again during the holidays, at least now you will know why. I will be back to “normal” posting on Saturday…..I promise
Chicken Enchilada Pizza
|Prep time||15 minutes|
|Cook time||25 minutes|
|Total time||40 minutes|
|Meal type||Main Course|
- 1 batch homemade pizza dough*
- 1 jar all-natural enchilada sauce (or homemade)
- 2 cups cooked, shredded chicken
- 2 - 3 cups shredded cheese (I used colby jack)
- 6 ounce package Wholly Guacamole (or homemade)
- 1/4 cup milk, coconut milk, Greek yogurt (optional to thin the guacamole)
- shredded lettuce, tomato, olives
- chopped fresh cilantro (to garnish)
*Homemade Pizza Dough recipe. This recipe make 2 medium pizzas or 4 individual pizzas.