You may have noticed that I have been MIA for the past few days…..okay almost a week. This past week has been a real test of strength, which I almost failed…..
Warning: This is not a happy, fun post…..this is my life. I got married 24 years ago on Labor Day. As most of you already know, the sweet loving man that I married…no longer exists. He has been replaced by a cruel, passive aggressive, narcissist that enjoys tormenting me. Yes, he plays his games just to see me cry. He may have walked out on his family 5 1/2 months ago, but is not out of my life yet. I was a stay at home mom for the past 23 years, so I obviously have no outside income or career skills to fall back on. I am still financially dependent on him, which is what he wanted. He controls everything. Lesson #1, don’t ever put yourself in that position.
The day I got married, it was for life…or so I thought. My plan was to grow old with this person. Watch our children grow up and have children of their own. The whole Disney pixie dust covered dream, has turned into a Grimm’s fairy tale. Every decision that I made, was based on the best interests of the family. He works 60+ hour weeks with travel to other countries, so me having a career and leaving our children to raise themselves was not an option. He went back to school and earned two masters degrees, while I raised the kids…for our future.
I received a text from him on Monday…Labor Day! He wanted to get together that night and discuss the finances, for the 7th time…ON LABOR DAY! Not on Saturday when he was here putting stuff in the garage. Not on Sunday, he chose Labor Day. I completely lost it!!! Our actual anniversary was yesterday, the 4th…..thank God for Michelle 🙂 She called me first thing in the morning, and we ended up talking on the phone for 4 hours as she helped me figure out what to do next. Lesson #2, have a stash of posts ready to go when you are not emotionally able to deal with reality.
I have to accept the fact that when I move back to California (or wherever I end up), I may never see my kids again. Alex will still be in Iowa, and Cassi will probably be in Florida going to school. The life that I planned and worked so hard to achieve, is gone and I have to put on my big girl panties and start a new life for myself. Lesson #3, never be fooled again…..
What does this have to do with Chicken Enchilada Pizza? Comfort food. Quick, easy to make, comfort food. When I am upset or stressed out, I bake. Seriously, would I be seventy pounds overweight if I was happy and my life was full of lollipops and rainbows? No, I have been burying the pain with pizza and cheese burgers…..
Well at least they are homemade, and made with all-natural ingredients. I used rotisserie chicken, my favorite enchilada sauce, Wholly guacamole, and dough made in the bread machine. Assembly only takes a few minutes, and I can check emails while they bake.
I made it through the first hurdle, the anniversary. If I disappear again during the holidays, at least now you will know why. I will be back to “normal” posting on Saturday…..I promise 🙂
Enjoy!
Chicken Enchilada Pizza
Print recipe
| Serves | 6 |
| Prep time | 15 minutes |
| Cook time | 25 minutes |
| Total time | 40 minutes |
| Meal type | Main Course |
Ingredients
- 1 Batch homemade pizza dough*
- 1 jar all-natural enchilada sauce (or homemade)
- 2 Cups cooked, shredded chicken
- 2 - 3 Cups shredded cheese (I used colby jack)
- 6 Ounce package Wholly Guacamole (or homemade)
- 1/4 cup milk, coconut milk, Greek yogurt (optional to thin the guacamole)
- shredded lettuce, tomato, olives
- chopped fresh cilantro (to garnish)
Directions
 Preheat oven to 450 degrees. If using a pizza stone, place it in the oven while heating. Mix chicken with some of the enchilada sauce. | |
 Divide pizza dough in half. Roll one half out on a floured surface. Place dough on a cornmeal or parchment paper lined peel if using a pizza stone. | |
 Spread enchilada sauce over pizza dough. | |
 Cover with half of the chicken mixture. | |
 Cover with cheese. | |
 Slide pizza onto hot pizza stone (if using) or onto a baking sheet and bake for 20 - 25 minutes, until the cheese is melted and bubbling. | |
 While pizza is baking, mix the guacamole with milk. Mine could have been a bit thinner in order to "drizzle" over the top. | |
 Remove pizza from oven and drizzle with guacamole mixture. | |
 Cover pizza with lettuce, tomato, and olives. Garnish with chopped cilantro. | |
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Repeat for the second pizza. | |
Note
*Homemade Pizza Dough recipe. This recipe make 2 medium pizzas or 4 individual pizzas.
Suzanne of Simply Suzannes at Home
Hi Lisa!
I was wondering where you were.
I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with so much right now. I hope that you continue to find happiness in cooking, posting, and your blogging community.
I’ll keep you in my prayers, and know that you’ll find success in whatever you do!
Wishing you happiness . . . always,
Suzanne
Lisa, so sorry about what is going on… you will be a stronger person though now it may not seem like it… It has been nice getting to know you and let me know if there is anything you need besides support from afar! Deb
So sorry to hear that you are having problems. Just remember you did nothing wrong. As women we want our love ones to be happy , to live their dreams. Sometime we put our dreams on hold to help them and we do it out of love. Men sometimes don’t see the effort we put in just so they can reach their dreams. They think she’s a wife and mother that’s what she’s suppose to do. LOL they see young career woman and think she’s so independent so fascinating that’s what I need and want, BUT remember the grass is always greener until you have to cut it. My father was like that. He cheated and lived his life like he was the only important person. 1st wife, 2nd wife and kids just had to deal. He dead knowing his young girlfriend stole 20,000 out of his acct. and stole anything of value in the house. He cried remembering how he was taken care of by his wife and how he abused her . Karma is a B**** . Don’t feel bad about the good you did. Just pray for him and wish him well and start your new life. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless
Oh hun. My sister went through that with a VERY YOUNG daughter. My niece was not quite 2 at the time. She literally had NOTHING. No bank account, no money, no car. He barely let her keep the clothes on her back.
Take all the time you need!! We’ll be here when you’re ready to return to blogging. *hugs*
Lisa….as difficult as this may be right now, I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that many people love you and are wishing you happiness, peace and joy for the future (I’m one of them!) It is SO hard to see the sunlight when it seems as though only darkness is around us, though I know in my heart you will find the sun again. Sending you lots of hugs and love!
I am so sorry for your troubles and I wish you peace girl! And we’re all thankful for comfort food!
Sending you a big hug Lisa. I was married to the same sort of man for 13 years. Thank God I got out when I did. It took some time but when I was ready to open my heart I found my one true last love, Mr. B. Along with my hugs, I’m sending prayers and positive vibes your way!
Yum- o, Lisa, looks really good! Pinned!
I’m sorry to hear about everything you’re going through, Lisa, and I wish you the best going forward! This pizza looks fantastic — love the idea of an enchilada on top of a pizza crust. Ingenious!
I’m a daughter of a narcissist Mother, according to my therapist, so I can understand how difficult it is to deal with that kind of person. I’m sorry to hear about your troubles and wishing you the best moving forward. This pizza sounds so comforting and it looks delicious! Thank you for sharing.
Oh sweetie… I am so sorry things are so rough right now. When things seem like they are at their lowest. I always like to remind myself that everything can only go up from there. I will be thinking of you…
On a yummier note, your pizza looks AMAZING! 🙂
Hi Lisa! This looks absolutely scrumptious! I’d love for you to link this up at our link party at Bakerette.com.
P.S. I’m sorry to hear about your ongoing troubles. Such struggles.
I am so sorry for everything you are dealing with right now, Lisa! I know you are at a low point, but please don’t tell yourself you may never see your kids again! They are grown and you seem very close to both of them. I’m sure you will always be close even if there is physical distance between you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you get back on your feet, especially if you end up anywhere near the Bay Area!
This pizza looks delicious. You can sure take some mean pictures and create a wonderful recipe even when times are tough!
I am sorry to read about the pain you are going through. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if all you can see right now is a tiny pin dot of light. Look for it…it’s there, and it will grow brighter. Good people always win in the end, and you WILL come out a victor!
I’m so terribly sorry, but do understand. Been there done that got the scars to prove it.
You will survive, you have us. Your friends,fans and followers. We as bloggers support one another.
Also, schedule guest posters. If all you can do is get on and copy/paste. you’re done.
If you need me, call. Seriously. I get where you’re at.
I’d say more but someone…might read it.
Lisa, I am so sorry to hear that. I use to work with a narcissist boss and it is very very hard. Especially to decipher the truth. I will definitely be praying for you. For peace, clarity, joy, comfort, and wisdom as you move forward.
Lisa, this post makes me so sad for you!! I wish I could give you a big hug. Over the last few months I’ve gotten to know you — I know you’re smart, kind and good person. Don’t let some jerk ever tell you that you’re not.
Lisa,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Just know that while this might seem like a bad time, it can only get better from here. I think the fact that you got out of a bad relationship, even though it was hard, is a really good starting point and things will start to look up. Your pizza looks delicious, I think it would be a great comfort food!
Lisa- I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, but let me tell you- you have courage and you have guts to openly share your pain with us in your blogging community. We’re all a family and have your back. Stay strong sister!
Lisa,
Sorry you are going through this. The 6th was my 26th anniversary and its now been over a year since I started seeking a divorce. Boy! Yours and mine could get together and compare notes now how to mess us over. Keep hanging in there and life post-him will happen.
Hugs!
So sorry for what you are going through. The pizza does look fabulous and I appreciate you taking the time to link up with What’s Cookin’ Wednesday.
So sorry for what you’re going through. 🙁 That pizza looks amazing, maybe food could be your fall back? Forge on, create a life around what you’re clearly skilled at! God knows, I’d be eating at that restaurant! 🙂 *transatlantic hugs and well wishes* Also, thank you for being one of the few genuine bloggers, not afraid to have posts that aren’t all glitz and glamor with nothing out of place. Blogging can feel like high school sometimes with EVERYONE having everything meticulously in place and not even a crumb in their photos. You’re down to earth and that shows through your blog (in general) and your spirit. 🙂 Thanks for being you and for being a blogger I look up to!
That guacamole drizzle on top seals the deal for me! Sounds AMAZING!
Oh my …. when I saw this pizza the other day on FB, I hopped over here and pinned it and never actually read your post figuring I’d come back by when I had more time. I can’t say that I know exactly what you’re going through – but I did have a failed marriage similar to you – my ex-husband was an (I’ll let you fill in the blank with whatever word you can think of) …… I learned many lessons from that experience – some of them you mentioned in your post. I know it is hard for you right now …. and I know the road will be a long one filled with many uncertainties. Seriously, as cliche as it sounds, one day you will look back and see just how strong you are – and how much better off you will be with out him. I know we have never met in person, but you have a wonderful and giving spirit – it truly will be his loss – not yours. If you ever need to talk, hit me up – message me if you want my number – seriously. I’ll be praying for you and everything you are going through. {hugs my friend}
And then I forgot to tell you that I’m featuring your yummy pizza at tomorrow’s All My Bloggy Friends …. Idk what I’d do if my head wasn’t attached to my shoulders some days! 😉
what a great idea for a pizza…so pinning this and trying it.
Lisa I am so sorry to hear your story. I always say fight for marriage and family, but when it comes down to it, it takes both parties, and when one is unwilling and hurtful with no remorse, it’s time to move on. I hope you can find some peace soon.
Thank you for sharing this comfort food with us. It looks absolutely delicious. I’m adding it to our weekly pizza night menu.
Oh, Lisa, I can’t even imagine! I know there isn’t anything that I can say to make this better for you, but you have to know that your blogging friends are here for you! Comfort food is a small start, by all means! This does look fabulous, it actually combines two of my favorite foods, pizza and Mexican food. I’ll be thinking about you! xoxo PS you’re one of my features at this week’s Wednesday Whatsits party.
Just found you through “Loves Bakes Good Cakes” on FB. I am addicted to Enchilada sauce, cannot get enough of it. Why did I never think to do this before? I could do this on Bagels (when I’m too lazy to make or buy the dough)
Thinking of you and I can’t imagine what you must be going though. Thoughts and prayers wrapped in a big hug to you. You CAN and WILL overcome this. My very dear friend quoted me when I had a shoddy phase a few years back…. “All is good in the end, if it’s not good, it’s not the end.” it’s not her original quote, not sure where it’s from, but it helped me out A LOT and I always think of it when things get uber-crapped.
Blessings to you!
G’day! Looks delicious Lisa! Love the step by step! Could go for some right now!
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers! Joanne
Viewed as part of the Foodie Friends Friday Recipes that tell a Story
Thank you so much Joanne! Definitely one of my favorite pizzas. 🙂
The pizza looks incredible. I don’t know why I missed your story before – probably because I have not been looking at other blogs like I would like to since I went back to school this past August. I am so sorry for what you are going through! My ex is similar, so if you ever want to talk, send me a message. And, thanks for sharing on Foodie Friends Friday.